


and you my wayward girl

by SmartIsSexy



Category: Roseanne
Genre: Domestic Bliss, Domestic Fluff, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-28
Updated: 2018-02-28
Packaged: 2019-03-24 23:25:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13821678
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SmartIsSexy/pseuds/SmartIsSexy
Summary: Jackie falls in love in the cereal aisle. Or: Happily ever after, Lanford style.





	and you my wayward girl

**Author's Note:**

> So. I’m not sure where this came from exactly, other than to say that I’m excited about the upcoming Roseanne revival. Also, Jackie is my favorite queen of lesbian stereotypes (and favorite character in general) and I wanted to give her a happy ending. This story is what happened when those two things met in my head while I was avoiding housework. It’s compliant with the finale reveals that Jackie is a lesbian and Dan is.....no longer with us. 
> 
> Title inspired by Belle and Sebastian's song "Piazza, New York Catcher"

They first meet in the grocery store, because it’s Lanford and of course they do, and Jackie supposes that she has her son to thank for that. At five years old, he’s incurably mischievous, taking great pleasure in touching everything he’s not supposed to wherever they go.

She’s maneuvering the cart around a corner and into the cereal aisle when Andy sticks out one chubby little hand and smacks at a precariously placed box of Raisin Bran on the edge of the end cap. The box tumbles to the ground, hitting other boxes as it goes, and mother and son watch with matching wide-eyed expressions as the entire display cascades to the floor.

“Uh oh,” Andy says.

Jackie sighs. Even with the pressure of what feels like a thousand pairs of eyes watching her, she has to try hard not to smile.

“Uh oh,” she says instead, gently cupping her son’s chin and tilting his head up until he’s looking her in the eye, “ I’m gonna “uh oh” you. What did I say about keeping your hands in the cart?”

“Keep ‘em inside and not touch nothin’?”

She nods her head while bobbing his up and down with her hand.

“Uh huh. And what did you do?”

A guilty look creeps across her son’s face.

“I touched stuff?”

“And now what happens?”

She watches his expression as he comes to the unpleasant realization.

“I hafta clean up the mess?”

“I’m afraid so, kid.”

He sighs like the weight of the world rests on his shoulders. “Ok.”

He looks up at her hopefully.

“Mama?”

“Yes, baby?”

“Will you help me?”

“Of course I will.”

She lifts him out of the cart and together they gather up boxes one by one. Jackie just about finishes putting the display back together as best she can when she feels someone hovering near her elbow. She turns to see a dark-haired woman about her age hesitantly holding out a shopping basket brimming with cereal boxes.

“These sort of, well, slid down the aisle. I thought I’d gather them up for you.”

“Oh,” Jackie says awkwardly, half expecting a lecture on properly controlling her kid in public, “thank you.”

“Yeah,” Andy pipes up from beside her, “thank you, nice lady.”

Jackie’s relieved when the woman smiles and engages her son in conversation as she helps to stack the last of the cereal boxes from her basket.

“You’re very welcome. What’s your name?”

He looks up at Jackie, asking silent permission to talk to a stranger just this once, and she nods.

”I’m Andy. I wasn’t tryin’ to make a mess, I just wanted to see what would happen if I hit the box.”

“Well, I’d say you sure found out, didn’t you?”

The woman laughs when Andy nods and she extends a hand for him to shake.

“Hi, Andy, I’m Susan. You remind me of my nephew. He’s about your age and I’ve helped him clean up a whole lot of messes.”

“Hi, Ms. Susan. This is my mom.”

He gestures with his thumb and Jackie takes the opportunity to introduce herself.

“Hi. I’m Jackie, mom to the compulsive mess maker over here.”

“Hi,” Susan says, “well, it was really nice to meet you both. I should let you get back to your shopping.”

“Alright,” Jackie says, “thanks for helping us with the cereal. It was nice to meet you too.” She turns to her son, “What do you say, Andy?”

“Bye, Ms. Susan. Thank you for helping us!”

Susan gives them one last wave and a smile before disappearing out of the aisle and Jackie looks down at Andy.

“I know, I know,” he tells her before she says a word, “no touchin’ nothin’ else.”

 

* * *

 

The second time they meet, Jackie’s in line at the checkout counter with her nose buried in a tabloid when a slightly familiar voice comes out of nowhere.

“Left your mess maker at home, did you?”

Embarrassed at being caught, she hastily shoves the magazine back in the rack it came from and focuses on the other woman’s amused expression.

“Yeah, well,” she jokes as smoothly as she can manage, “they asked me not to bring him back. Something about him being a danger to himself and others.”

“That cute little thing? I don’t believe that for a second.”

Jackie feels her eyebrows climb into her hairline.

“Oh, Susan. You don’t have kids, do you?”

“I don’t, but I have two nieces and that nephew I mentioned before. They have me believing that all kids are perfect angels all the time. You’re not going to ruin that illusion for me, are you?”

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Jackie says, sliding her hands into her back pockets. “So what brings you here?”

“To the grocery store? Oh, you know. I need to buy a car. This is where you get one of those things, right?”

She smiles to show she’s kidding and gestures to the shopping basket tucked into the fold of her elbow.

“The usual. Bread, milk, eggs.”

Jackie smiles. “Stimulating conversation in the checkout line?”

“Something like that, yeah.”

The cashier interrupts them then, reciting Jackie’s total amount due, and Jackie reaches into her pocket for her cash while Susan places her items next to each other neatly on the small conveyor belt. Jackie’s gathering her bags together when Susan hesitantly calls her name. Jackie looks up expectantly, watching as a self-conscious flush appears across the other woman’s cheeks.

“This might sound odd,” Susan says, still blushing, “but you’re the first person I’ve said more than two words to since I moved here. Would you like to get together some time?”

Jackie finds herself readily agreeing, happy to exchange phone numbers. She’s got an unexplainable bounce in her step the rest of the day.

 

* * *

 

Less than a week later they’re splitting an order of French fries at The Lobo, two beers deep apiece.

Jackie’s finishing up telling the story of the time Dwight hit on her in Roseanne and Dan’s driveway, enjoying the way that Susan looks appropriately appalled.

“Pop my hood, my ass!” Jackie says, shivering overdramatically for effect.

Susan cracks up, her brown eyes sparkling with laughter. “I would have decked him,” she declares decisively. 

“I thought about it,” Jackie confesses, “but he was good friends with Dan and it wasn’t worth causin’ any trouble.”

She takes another sip of her beer and changes the subject.

“So where’d you move here from, anyway?”

Susan smiles and stretches, leaning comfortably back into her chair.

“Not far”, she says nonchalantly, “just Chicago.”

Jackie’s so baffled that anyone would actually choose to live in Lanford over a place like Chicago that her reaction is out before she can stop it. “ _Why?_ ”

It sounds worse that she meant it, but before she can kick herself, the other woman just laughs.

“Yeah, I keep asking myself the same thing.”

Jackie winces. “Hey, I didn’t mean that.”

“No, it’s okay,” Susan waves off her apology, “it wasn’t really by choice, anyway. My parents just moved into a retirement home out here and I wanted to be closer in case they needed anything.”

Jackie nods, understanding.  “Still,” she says with a voice full of wonder, “ _Chicago_.”

 

* * *

 

“I think it would be fun to be a witch,” Jackie proclaims while she and Susan amble their way out of the movie theater, “magic powers would have come in handy against all my crappy bosses.”

Susan laughs. “Didn’t you learn anything from the movie? Magic could have gotten them all killed.”

“But it saved their lives!”

Jackie turns to face Susan and pushes backward against one of the theater’s front doors. It opens into the night and the two women step to the side of the building to continue their conversation before going their separate ways for the night.

“Plus,” Jackie continues, “I wouldn’t do a love spell or anything like that. I’d just want to go back in time and make old Mr. Faber get his head stuck in one of the machines in the factory or something.”

She glances at Susan and asks, “What kind of magic powers would _you_ want?”

“Hmmmmm…..,” Susan tilts her head thoughtfully to one side and makes an exaggerated humming noise as she considers the question. “Faster healing sutures for my patients, maybe?”

Jackie groans. “There you go, being all selfless with your magic. You’re making me look bad.”

 “Sorry,” Susan says playfully without a hint of remorse, “I’m just a much better person than you are.”

Jackie lets out a snort of laughter. “ _Ouch!_ ”

They stand in companionable silence for a moment before the noise of water droplets on the overhanging part of the theater’s roof makes them look upward.

“It’s raining,“ Jackie complains, stating the obvious. She sticks a foot out into the weather, as if to test that theory. Her shoe comes back wet.

“And me without my umbrella,” Susan laments.

“Huh. Aren’t you medical types always supposed to be prepared?”

Susan looks amused. “I think you might be confusing us with the Boy Scouts.”

Jackie makes a face at her. “So…..do you want to make a run for it?”

 

* * *

 

 “This really isn’t my game tonight,” Jackie grouses good-naturedly after yet another disappointing shot. She reaches across the pool table to grab her beer and then leans against the wall, sipping at the bottle.

In reply, Susan sinks two more striped balls and grins. “Oh, but it’s mine,” she teases with a wink.

Jackie rolls her eyes and takes her time lining up her next shot, eyeing her target carefully.

“Wait, hang on,” she hears. The next thing Jackie knows, there are hands on her hips guiding her into place. “Try it like that.”

She sinks her shot this time and glances over her shoulder at Susan, who pumps a celebratory fist into the air.

“So, how’s a doctor get so good at playin’ pool, anyway?”

“My dad wouldn’t rest until I could beat both him and my brother fair and square. He thought it would help me impress a man.”

Jackie snorts. “Yeah? How’s that workin’ out for you?”

Susan raises a challenging eyebrow. “You tell me.”

Jackie rests her pool cue against the table and turns. Susan is perched perfectly on a stool behind her, long jean-clad legs crossed at the ankle and one hand resting delicately in her lap. She’s sipping at her beer as though she hasn’t just issued some sort of dare, and looks up at Jackie innocently as she approaches. Having reached her target, Jackie playfully snatches the beer bottle away from her, purposefully brushing her fingers against the other woman’s hand as she does so. Susan looks as though she might protest, but doesn’t get the chance. Jackie leans down and kisses her softly, her hand gently cupping Susan’s chin. Susan’s eyes are still closed when Jackie pulls away, and only flutter open again as Jackie’s stealing a sip out of the pilfered beer.

 “I think you’re doing pretty well.” Jackie says affectionately. 

Susan rewards her with a toothy smile and glances up shyly through her eyelashes.

“You think so, huh?”

“Yeah,” Jackie confirms.

“Good,” Susan says with a wink, “because I’m wiping the floor with you and didn’t want to scare you off.”

With that, she presses a quick kiss to Jackie’s lips and slides away triumphantly to take her next turn. Jackie’s a little stunned, but incredibly pleased, so when Susan sinks the eight ball and smiles like the proverbial cat that ate the canary, she feels sixteen and indestructible.  

“Well done,” she congratulates after Susan rubs it in with an exaggerated bow, “what do you say we get out of here?”

Susan immediately takes Jackie’s extended hand and tugs her close. “Yes, please.”

Later that night, Susan’s kissing her way down Jackie’s stomach in the darkness of her bedroom when she suddenly stops and lets out a half-laugh, half-gasp sort of noise that catches Jackie off-guard. Jackie feels the skin of her lower abdomen being stroked and looks down to discover that Susan has found her tattoo.

“Is that a snake?”

Susan sounds impressed and Jackie sort of groans.

“It’s hissing!” the other woman continues, positively delighted at her new discovery.

“It’s a viper,” Jackie says helpfully. “And anyway, I was drunk.”

 “Thanks for the clarification,” Susan says affectionately. “You rebel.”

 

* * *

 

“So, what took you so long to come visit, anyway? I thought maybe you didn’t really exist.”

Susan shoots a surprised glance at Jackie before answering Roseanne’s question.

“Oh. Well, my schedule at the hospital is really unpredictable and I didn’t want to be a bother.”

“Uh huh,” Roseanne says with a knowing look at her sister. “That’s what I kept hearing too. So I told her to just bring you over whenever.”

Susan’s brow furrows. “Oh?”

Jackie clears her throat. “Roseanne…” she whines.

Roseanne puts on an innocent look.

“What? You were right, she IS gorgeous.”

Susan and Jackie both blush, which makes Roseanne cackle.

“Oh, god,” Jackie says. Full of nervous energy, she springs up from the kitchen table to put the kettle on for more tea.

Roseanne watches with great amusement and turns her attention back to Susan. “Wow, she must really like you if she’s this worried about us meetin’ each other.”

Susan grins at that. “What makes you say that?”

Roseanne shrugs a shoulder and smiles. “’Cause she thinks I’m gonna embarrass the crap out of her. You know, more than normal.”

“Oh, I can’t imagine how you’d ever embarrass her,” Susan says eagerly, glancing up at her girlfriend before focusing on Roseanne again. Behind her sister, Jackie’s eyes are closed, as if bracing herself for the inevitable onslaught.

“Susie, either you’re being real polite or Jackie here actually hasn’t told you anything about me at all.”

 

* * *

 

Roseanne sends Susan home with a copy of her book, and to Jackie’s great consternation, her girlfriend dives right into it. She brings it on overnights to Jackie’s place, and one night before bed, Susan carefully places a bookmark into the book and tosses it onto the floor. She snuggles down into the covers and turns toward Jackie, watching her thoughtfully while Jackie turns the pages in her magazine. 

“What?”

“Does it ever bother you that she wrote you straight?”

Susan’s not sure it’s a question she should even ask, but she’s been curious for a while now and holding back isn’t exactly her strong suit.

Jackie looks thoughtful. She opens her mouth to answer, then closes it and tilts her head to one side, considering. She drops her magazine to the floor and nestles down into the blankets herself.

“I never really thought about it,” she says finally. “I _did_ date a lot of men.”

“She just edited out the women?” Susan clarifies.

Jackie nods thoughtfully. “There weren’t that many of them, though. And it was weird for her.” She shrugs a shoulder. “But she’s _trying_ , and she likes you.  That’s enough.”

Susan nods in agreement, then smiles. “One more thing…” she adds.

 “What’s that?”

Susan slides her hand up underneath Jackie’s nightshirt and runs the pads of her fingers across her stomach, then upward across her breast, teasing a nipple just enough to make Jackie’s breath catch.

“I wish I was around when you were a cop. I bet you looked gorgeous in uniform.”

Jackie smiles and clears her throat, summoning her best police woman voice.

“Ma’am,” she says gruffly, “I’m going to have to insist that you take your hands off of me. Sexually assaulting a police officer is against the law.”

Susan brings her wrists together in front of her and pushes them at her girlfriend.

“Well then I think you’re just going to have to arrest me, officer.”

“You’d just love that, wouldn’t you?”

 

* * *

 

“Everything’s all ready. We’ve got beer, we’ve got ice cream in the freezer, and we’ve got old movies. All we need is to order pizza.”

Susan tries to muster up a smile as she tiredly massages the side of her neck.

“Can we raincheck this, Jack? I’m not really in the mood right now.”

Jackie pulls a face.

“Oh, come on. You’ll feel better once you sit down. We were going to spend the whole night together.”

“I know, but..”

“Roseanne’s got Andy and who knows when that’ll happen again,” Jackie barrels on.

“Oh, I don’t know, probably tomorrow. You two practically live over there.”

Jackie looks a little stunned. It’s a cheap shot and Susan knows it, but she’s tired and emotional and really just wants to take a hot bath and relax. She watches silently as Jackie rises off the couch and gathers up her coat and bag.

“I’m sorry,” her girlfriend says quietly, “I’m just gonna get out of here.”

Susan closes her eyes and sighs, quickly losing her patience. “Why do you do that?”

Jackie looks confused. “Do what?”

“Apologize when it’s not your fault. I’m the one being the bitch here, why are you apologizing?”

Jackie shrugs a shoulder.

“I don’t know. Habit?”

“Well, stop it. Not everything’s your fault, you know.”

Jackie smiles a little. “Really?”

Susan rolls her eyes dramatically and waits for Jackie to settle herself back on the couch before joining her. She drops to her knees on the soft cushion and leans into Jackie’s shoulder.

“I lost a patient today,” she says into the hollow of her girlfriend’s neck, “it was routine surgery and she had a husband and twin four year old girls and she died on the table and I couldn’t stop it.”

She’s sobbing by the time she reaches the end of her sentence and Jackie can barely understand her, but Susan feels the warm weight of arms surrounding her anyway and relaxes into the embrace.

 

* * *

 

“You never told me about Fisher.”

Jackie goes still for just a moment, then recovers, turning as she tightens the drawstring of her pajama pants across her hips.

“Sure I did,” she says with false nonchalance, “he was the jackass that made me swear off all men for a while.”

Susan raises a suspicious eyebrow. “That fight wasn’t about a poker game, was it?”

Jackie slides into bed next to her.

“It’s embarrassing,” she confesses, smoothing out blankets and picking at non-existent lint. “What was I gonna say? Hey honey, a few years ago I dated this sleaze ball and I let him beat the hell out of me because I had no self-esteem.  Just thought you might want to know.”

 “Let him? I don’t think you were given much choice in the matter.”

Jackie drops her eyes to her lap and inspects her cuticles. “Well, that depends on how you look at it. I did stay, you know…after the first time.”

“I’d like to go back and kill him.”

Jackie laughs. “Yeah, well…Dan almost did it for you.”

“Wait, Darlene actually DID have to bail him out of jail?”

Jackie nods. “He roughed Fisher up pretty good. It was real sweet of him.”

 

* * *

 

One night at the bowling alley with a bunch of family and friends, Roseanne drops down onto the bench beside Jackie and Susan and hands her sister a beer.

Jackie gives her a suspicious look. “What’s this for? I’m still workin’ on this one.”

She nods toward the beer she’s dangling between the fingers of her other hand.

Susan watches as Roseanne grimaces and says, “you’re gonna need it, Sis. Mom’s puttin’ her foot down. I told her I’m cookin’ though, so it’ll be okay.”

Jackie goes pale. “What? No! Roseanne, do something!”

Roseanne makes another beer magically appear and pushes that one into her sister’s hands as well.

“I tried, Jackie. I told her that Susie here is too busy working and that she hates old people and Chardonnay. And old people who drink Chardonnay by the bucketful.”

Roseanne’s gaze flicks to Susan and she shrugs helplessly. “Mom really wants to meet you anyway.”

Susan opens her mouth to ask how bad one elderly woman could really be, but is interrupted when a low moan comes from beside her. All three beer bottles are on the floor and Jackie’s bent over with her head in her hands. Roseanne lays a comforting hand on her sister’s back.

“Oh come on, Sis. It’ll be fun! Susie can be all uncomfortable while she politely listens to Mom pick apart your whole life and then we can slip something into her drink and you and me can bury the body in the backyard!”

Jackie straightens up and pins her sister with a dark look.

“Promise?”

 

* * *

 

The farther they get into dinner with Bev, the more Susan understands why Roseanne had insisted on being present. And why she wanted to host. Despite the fact that Bev lives in the very same town as the rest of the family, Jackie had managed to delay the inevitable meeting of her mother and her girlfriend for an impressively long time.

 “Mom,” Roseanne says warningly, casting a concerned glance at her younger sister.

“What?”

Bev’s voice is intrusive and shrill, and it takes great effort for Susan not to startle every time the older woman speaks.

“All I’m saying is that Jackie has tried a lot of things, dear, and every one of them seems to have been a phase. She was a police woman and a truck driver. She dated a parade of men and had a baby and got married and then got divorced. How do I know that this lesbianism isn’t just another phase?”

Jackie’s stiff as a board, sitting so straight up in her chair that it looks painful, and when she finally speaks up, her voice is ice cold.

“I was proud of being a cop, Mom. It’s the best thing I’ve ever done.”

Bev chortles. “Well, I know that, dear. That’s what you say, but you quit as soon as you couldn’t have it your way. Such a good job too, with wonderful benefits. It’s such a shame that you never stick with anything. All that potential gone to waste.”

Susan wonders how much bad karma she’d attract by hitting a 70-year old-woman.

“ _Mom_ ,” Roseanne says again, and at the same time Jackie pushes herself back from the table and jumps to her feet.

“I’m leavin’,” she says, forcefully shoving the chair back into place so hard that it makes the table shake. She makes a beeline for the back door. Susan follows after a moment, not bothering to say goodbye. Roseanne will understand, she knows, and Susan doesn’t much care what Bev thinks. She catches a bit of conversation as she goes.

“Why do you have to do that to her?”

“Do what, Roseanne?  Your sister is just too sensitive. She’s always been that way. What a way to behave!”

Susan has never been so glad to escape a house in all her life. She finds Jackie sitting in the driver’s seat of her car, waiting. Susan approaches the window and stands there until Jackie hand cranks the window down and asks expectantly, “Aren’t you going to get in?”

“Slide over,” Susan says softly.

Jackie raises an eyebrow. “So, what? One fight with my mother and you don’t think I can handle my own car? I’m fine. Get in.”

 “You’re upset,” Susan says gently, “and if something happens I’ll never forgive myself. Let me drive. Please?”

There’s no answer and she leans against the car door. “I can wait all night. In case you haven’t noticed, I’m every bit as stubborn as you are.”

Jackie eyes her through the window for a moment, but relents and slides over to the passenger seat. The ride back is silent, and Jackie is out the door and nearly in the house before the car has even come to a complete stop. Susan finds her in bed under a pile of blankets. Jackie doesn’t speak until Susan is spooned up behind her. She flips the comforter off her face and takes a long shaky breath.

“She’s right, you know. I don’t finish anything and I didn’t do anything with my life and I blame other people for all of my problems. And hey, for the last few months I’ve been a lesbian and I’ve also been raising a kid for a few years, but maybe next week I’ll just put Andy up for adoption and dump you for some loser guy. That sure sounds like me, doesn’t it? Or maybe you’ll just leave when you finally figure out how worthless I am.”

There’s a beat of silence, a shuttering breath.

“I’m just no good.”

“Wow,” Susan says. She’s lying on her side beside Jackie, her head propped up on one curled fist with a pillow under her armpit, listening. She gathers a few errant strands of her girlfriend’s hair and tucks them behind her ear.

Jackie sniffles. “Wow what?”

“She has done such a number on you.”

Susan leans down and kisses Jackie’s neck, then rests her chin on her shoulder.

“I’m sorry I thought you were blowing this all out of proportion,” Susan says honestly, “she really IS awful.”

Jackie turns over and Susan sees that a tiny smile has appeared on her face, followed by a watery breath that might actually be a laugh in disguise. “We told you.”

“Honey, I’m not going anywhere. I love you too much to let anything your mother says scare me away.”

There’s nothing but silence for a few moments before Jackie asks tentatively, “You what?”

“What? I said you’re stuck with me.”

“Not that, the other part.”

“Oh,” Susan says, matter-of-fact. “I love you.”

“You do?”

The utter shock in the question makes Susan’s heart hurt.

“Of _course_ I do. You’re really pretty great, you know that?”

Jackie smiles at that.

“I love you too.”

 

* * *

 

“They’re finally asleep!”

Susan looks up as Jackie heads toward her into the living room and drops to a crouching position behind the couch. She puts an elbow on the back of it and rests her chin in her hand.

 “Whatcha workin’ on?” she asks, her mouth mere inches from her girlfriend’s ear.

Susan’s sitting with her back against the arm of the couch, legs pulled up to balance the book she’s reading. She caps her highlighter and focuses on her girlfriend.  “Nothing important.  Work stuff.”

“Hmmmmm.” Jackie replies. She stands up and throws a leg over the back of the couch, pulling herself on top. “Well, the boys are taking a nap and Roseanne won’t be back for Jerry for hours, so I was thinkin’.”

Susan cocks her head to the side and puts on an innocent look. “You were thinking?”

Jackie doesn’t answer, but instead leans down and uses a hand to cup Susan’s face before kissing her full on the mouth. Susan has just enough time to straighten her legs out before Jackie lets herself fall on top of them.

 “Subtle” Susan says dryly.

Jackie grins and pushes herself up so that she’s kneeling on all fours, then kisses her again.

Susan smiles against Jackie’s open mouth and quickly shoves her textbook and highlighter to the floor. She reaches downward and finds the hem of her girlfriend’s shirt, then deftly pulls it over her head and tosses it across the room. The rest of their clothes soon follow and before long they’re so engrossed in each other that they fail to hear the little footsteps approaching from Andy’s bedroom.

Susan’s busy trying not to audibly express her appreciation of Jackie’s very talented tongue when they both hear his small voice.

“Mama?”

In a panic, Jackie pops her head over the back of the couch to see that her son is still thankfully standing in the short hallway a few feet behind the couch.

“What do you need, baby?”

“What are you doing? You’re too loud!”

Susan chuckles. She knows she’s out of sight, hidden as she is by the back of the couch, so she can’t help but to torture Jackie just a little by dragging her fingers slowly up the inside of her thigh. Predictably, her girlfriend gasps a little, but then catches herself and apologizes to her son.

“Sorry, baby. I’ll be quieter, go back to sleep.”

“Okay,” he says agreeably. He trudges back to his room and the door closes before Jackie turns her attention back to Susan, eyes twinkling. “Oh, you’re gonna pay for that.”

 

* * *

 

Jackie pulls an exaggerated sad face, sticking out her lower lip and making her eyes wide and pitiful.

“But I wanna see what you’re cookin’!”

Susan chuckles and rolls her eyes, undeterred.

“I’m trying to surprise you on your birthday! Be good and play along.”

Jackie raises herself onto her tiptoes and tries to peer over Susan’s shoulder into the kitchen.

“It’s _my_ birthday,” she emphasizes. “Shouldn’t I get to decide if I want to play along?”

Susan waves a spatula threateningly in Jackie’s general direction. “Not if you want to eat.”

Jackie heaves a sigh and appears to give up. Susan watches suspiciously as she turns away.

“Well okay,” she says, “but you forgot one thing.”

“What’s that?” Susan asks, amused.

“My police training!”

Jackie turns back around and makes a run toward the kitchen, directly in the path of her girlfriend, before ducking to her side at the last second.

Laughing, Susan is thrown off at first, but manages to reach out an arm and catch Jackie around the waist. Their feet tangle together and they both go down hard. Susan rolls onto her back and stares up at the ceiling while Jackie scrambles to her feet.

“Surprise breakfast,” Susan says dryly, “this was a _great_ idea.”

Jackie looks down at her from above, munching happily on a freshly cooked slice of bacon.

 “It was,” she agrees, deliberately ignoring the sarcasm. “You should do this for me again next year.”

 

* * *

 

It’s a slow Sunday evening at the restaurant and Susan is hanging out at the far end of the counter with a cup of coffee and a slice of pie. She’s got her work spread out in front of her, her glasses perched on the end of her nose, when Roseanne appears in front of her with a full coffee pot.

“Boy, you sure are studyin’ hard, there. What are you working on?”

Susan opens her mouth to begin describing a new surgical technique that she’s learning, and Roseanne instead makes a buzzing noise.

“Sorry I asked!” she says cheerfully. “That’s boring. Hey, you want more coffee?”

Susan laughs. “Sure.”

“That’ll be a buck fifty.”

Susan hears Jackie’s exasperated voice chime in from somewhere behind her. “Roseanne!”

Roseanne laughs. “Hey, Susie knows I’m just kiddin’ with her, don’t you Susie?”

Susan somehow manages to keep a straight face as she looks down into her nearly empty mug. “That depends on if I get more coffee.”

“Not that with that attitude,” Roseanne tells her playfully. She begins pouring anyway, and Susan can feel herself being studied.

“Hey Susie, name two characters from Bonanza.”

Susan’s stumped, having never seen the show in her life, and Roseanne snorts.

“I thought so. Jeez, Sis. What do ya see in her, anyway?”

Susan hears her girlfriend laugh.

“Oh, she doesn’t watch much TV,” Jackie says affectionately, “I bagged myself a nerd!”

Susan’s trying to think up a retort when the bell chimes and Bev walks through the door.

“Hi girls!” she chirps, “I brought pie!”

“Hi Mom,” her daughters say together, reluctantly. Susan is content to ignore Bev altogether, having taken an instant dislike to her since they first met, but Jackie clears her throat and catches Susan’s eye before making an obvious gesture toward her mother with her chin.

Susan sighs and gives in.

“Hi, Bev.”

Bev smiles serenely at her.

“Hello, dear.”

Susan shifts awkwardly in her seat under the older woman’s gaze, suddenly feeling at least thirty years younger. Roseanne is quick with the save.

“So, Mom…..thanks for the pie. What kind of is it?”

Bev beams. “It’s apple. There will be a contest at the retirement community and one of the women is practicing to win the blue ribbon. It’s perfect for the season, don’t you think? Let’s all have some!”

Susan is happy to have a legitimate excuse not to have any. She carefully nudges her small plate of half eaten pie around her coffee mug and into Bev’s line of sight and opens her mouth to decline, but Jackie beats her to it.

“Thanks Mom, but it’s getting late. I don’t want something so sweet before bed. I’ll have a piece for breakfast tomorrow, okay?”

Bev’s mouth forms a straight pinched line. She walks over to her daughter and places her hands on her shoulders, holding her at arm’s length. Susan watches Jackie tense up and feels her own defenses rise.

“But you’re so thin, just look at you. You’ve got no shape at all. You need to put on some weight and a nice piece of pie will do that for you! Roseanne, cut your sister a great big piece.”

“No, don’t.” Susan pipes up before she can stop herself.

The restaurant is silent for a moment before Bev asks, “What was that?”

Susan clears her throat and tries again. “I said don’t. She doesn’t want pie, so she doesn’t have to eat pie.”

Roseanne and Bev are uncharacteristically quiet, so Jackie jumps in.

“It’s not a big deal, I can just have a small piece.”

“ _Jacks_ ,” Susan counters softly.

“ _Suze_ ,” Jackie pleads, unwrapping the pie.

Susan almost lets it go, if only to keep the peace, but then Bev smiles like the cat that ate the canary and pats her daughter on the back, saying condescendingly, “That’s a good girl.”

Susan sees red, but manages to limit herself to saying, “And her shape is perfect just the way it is.”

Bev shakes her head. “But I read in a magazine that lesbians like curvy women. Jackie has no curves, no shape, she’s all bones.”

Susan just blinks at her, momentarily stunned speechless.

“Bev,” she repeats carefully, “She’s perfect just the way she is.” She waits a second, then adds, “and I’d appreciate it if you’d stop tearing her down all the time.”

All three Harris women stare at her slack-jawed and Susan can feel herself blush. She’s not surprised when Roseanne is the first one to break the silence.

“Its official, Jackie. She’s a keeper.”

 

* * *

 

Fresh off her late shift at The Lunchbox, Jackie walks in her front door and heads into the kitchen where she finds Susan washing dishes. Hearing the door swing open, Susan turns away from the sink.

“Hey, you. How was work?”

Jackie pulls out one of the kitchen chairs and tosses her coat over the back of it, then lowers herself into the seat.

“It was my turn to clean the grease trap.” she says with a pronounced pout in her voice. She places her elbow on the table and rests her chin in her hand.

“Aww,” Susan says sympathetically, “does that mean I don’t get a kiss hello?”

“I smell gross,” Jackie protests. “How’s Andy?”

“Sleeping. He ate all of his dinner, we watched the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and I’m now well aware of which one is the coolest.”

“Michelangelo,” Jackie answers without missing a beat.

Susan nods. “The orange one, right?” She puts on her best stereotypical surfer voice. “He’s, like, totally tubular, dude.”

Jackie laughs. “I have to find a way to lose that tape. Those guys always make me want pizza.”

“Me too,” Susan agrees, turning back to the dishes.

Jackie lets the table hold her up for a moment as she closes her eyes and enjoys the feeling of finally being home for the night. Slowly, she registers music playing softly in the background.

What are you listening to?” she asks, fighting a yawn.

“Blues,” her girlfriend says. She removes her hands from the dishwater and dries them off, then leans over and adjusts the volume up a few notches. A new song begins and a man’s beautiful singing voice fills the air.

Susan extends a hand to her and sweeps into a gallant bow. “May I have this dance?”

Despite her exhaustion, Jackie grins and lets herself be swept into the moment. Susan pulls her close and they sway together while Susan hums along to the music and Jackie rests her head against her girlfriend’s shoulder.

_….and oh, my darling, I’m so blue. Because nothing, oh but nothing, takes the place of you..._

 “This is a breakup song,” Jackie comments unnecessarily, and Susan doesn’t miss a beat with her reply. 

“I can’t take the grease smell for one more second. I thought I’d break it to you gently.”

 

* * *

 

Susan’s paying bills while Jackie thumbs her way through the Sunday paper.

“Aren’t you done yet? We should take Andy to the park. It’s a beautiful day out there.”

Susan looks at her over the top of her glasses, a move that always makes Jackie a little weak in the knees, and says patiently, “This is the last one.”

“Good.” She reaches for a thick envelope that has been pushed to the side. “What’s this?”

Susan glances up again. “Oh, my new lease. The old one is up in a few weeks.”

“You’re signing for another year?” Jackie asks casually.

Susan’s eyebrows knit together. “Well,” she answers, “unless you’d like me to live in a van down by the river….”

“It’s too bad that you never amounted to jack squat,” Jackie replies dryly, catching the reference and tossing it back. Susan chuckles and Jackie elbows her in the arm. “No, seriously. I think you should, you know, move in here. With me.”

There’s a beat of silence before she finishes in a nervous rush, “if you want to.”

Susan lays a hand on one of Jackie’s and leans in to kiss her. “I’d love to.”

**Author's Note:**

> The single song lyric used in this story is from Toussaint McCall's "Nothing Takes the Place of You". It's a gorgeous song and you should look it up and listen to it. =)


End file.
